One night, I was skype-ing with a friend. It was very fine. And very funny. And very late at night.
One other night, I was angry. It was out of control but I put it off by sleeping.
One other night, I was confused and sad. It messed up many ships.
One other night, I was thoughtful. It was tonight.
...
It is too early for you to get married. You're still young!
Okay, so what's the problem of being young and getting married?
Well, how do you know if that is the right person?
How can you tell if it is not? At what age could you really tell?
Fine, then how about financially? You guys are still studying.
And we're perfectly alive and healthy, studying or not.
Both of you are not financially stable.
Define financially stable.
Okay, he should have a job. A proper one. You wouldn't want to be fed with sand and grass later on.
What if he's super rich when I'm marrying him and then he's been declared broke, one unfortunate day?
Ok fine. We couldn't tell the future.
Exactly. Rich or poor, young or old - we couldn't tell what's ahead of us.
So how about weddings? They are really expensive nowadays.
What about weddings? I don't want huge, expensive weddings.
You're a girl. I thought, you know, it's like once-in-a-lifetime thing.
Yes, but I'd rather spend a whole lot of my extra money on some expensive honeymoon or vacation or a car or a house.
So cheap wedding?
No. Appropriate enough. Just nikah and small dining.
Sanding? Tunang?
Why would I need that? Bridal beds are expensive. I should be able to go honeymoon with that money.
What about engagement?
I don't know. Why would I need that? To prolong?
You really want the simplest wedding.
Yes, I do. No craps.
How about your parents?
My parents married early. They were studying overseas. Their wedding was really simple.
Like how simple?
Just a dress, few food, nikah and Al-Quran as the dowry.
Wow.
Yes, I wish I could just have something like that.
How about his parents or your other family members? Wouldn't they want to barge in and expect huge weddings?
Well, if they want it their way, I have two suggestions: 1) sponsor my wedding or 2) get their own wedding. Hell no, I'm not gonna spend my money to impress people.
Wouldn't small weddings make you look, well, worth less?
Wouldn't huge weddings make my parents look like they are selling their expensive daughter? I'm not selling dignity, I'm adding values to it.
I don't get it.
Well, marriage is a good thing. People says that it is a type of ibadah. We're not suppose to boast about our good deeds. We're suppose to do it humbly and sincerely, right?
True. He's still under the scholarship. He's forbidden from getting married.
I don't think he'd want it now either. And I'm not saying that I'm gonna marry him indefinitely.
Then, you're willing to marry someone else?
Yes, I think. Someone similar or better than him.
How'd you know?
I wouldn't. Well, nobody would.
It isn't secure then.
People change. Nothing is constant. You can't be sure of security.
You mean?
Well, today he is a good man. Who'd know he'd be abusive in the future?
You wouldn't know.
We wouldn't know. Bad people can improve. Good people can worsen.
Like?
Well, today I can't sew well but I can improve my skill if I try hard enough.
You really want to get married, then?
No. I'm just saying it is okay to get married. Anytime, as long as you're willing to fight for it.
Fight for what?
Fight to make it works. It has ups and downs. Everything has it - business, faith etc.
Still, I'm not sure of anything.
Nobody can. Just be positive. God has ways to teach us things.
Right but your way of thinking is weird. I should tell other girls about what you said.
What weird?
You don't demand for financial security for marriage.
I guess so. Husbands should know how to find legal money and how to spend it. Not have a lot of money but misuse or no idea how to spend them.
Agreed. Other girls should know this.
Then I'll blog about it.
...
Whatever happens, I keep calm and carry on. Life does not end at when you're under pressure. There are always chances in many ways.
Marriage is for brave people. And thee shalt admit thy cowardliness.
Then again, different people has different opinions. However, great minds think alike. Acewaaaah!
True story.
footnote: End of semester. End of 2011. Happy holiday, peeps.
