mehlady,: self-therapy

Few years have passed and I am still dealing with a minor problem which recently made question myself so much. Sometimes I feel much better to be in school because I'd never have to explain my relationship to anyone. For one thing, I dislike talking about relationship with anyone. I don't mind talking about him but not him as the other person in my relationship.

It is so much easier to deal with people from my school because they'd never have to ask who is Twelve (to me).

Yesterday, Papa told me that he is selling my phone. I was surprised because I've only used this Blackberry for a year and never would I have expected that he'd get me a new one.

My problem started few months ago when Twelve suggested to get me a new phone for my birthday since I wanted to play the Pou game so much. I've agreed to the suggestion. At the time, Papa had not tell me anything about his plan.

I think when Papa found out about the suggestion, he took it by surprise. I thought after all this while, my parents would have understood my condition with Twelve. It was really awful to find myself searching for words to explain to Papa about us. In the end, Papa made his own conclusion and I just agreed.

Honestly, I can never really admit to anyone that Twelve is a, err, special person to me. When I tell stories to others, I'd always start with, "My friend, Twelve..." or "I have this friend, Twelve..." and Twelve remains as a friend in my story.

I am very sorry but I am never getting used to call him anything special to me in public (and if I did - because of clarification - I had to fidget). The reason is mainly because back in school, I was never used to tell or explain to others about me and Twelve.

So Twelve is Lokman.

We've known each other for more than seven years.

Please don't make me explain anymore. I'd simply have to depend on you to understand.

So it is December and here are the birthday/anniversary wishes.

Happy Anniversary Ma & Pa.